Loev of My lLife

OK, I don't want to say anything that might jinx this (and thus make me a Coke ower), but I ithkn I may have met the woman of my dreams, and this time it wasn't in my dreams! This woman has legs like a soldier, and she strust around like nobody's business, cept it's my business now because I want to take her for a ride and call her friend. GIRL friend, that is, and perhaps one day wife. You know that in Spanish for wife they just say woman. That may sound degrading to some of your young folkls, but that's the way SPanish folks are - it's that machismo. Well I want to make this woman my woman, if you know what I mean. I've got to talk to her- tomorrow, maybe, so wish me luck. I don't know where tomorrow may find me, but it could be I'll be making, and having, love.

-SHerman the lovemaker

I'm not ready to give up on this yet, but that day's coming. Because don't we all like to give up on things once in aqhile? I tried footbaths (using

More Bloggers to My Site

There is a need to get more bloggers onto my site makeing comments and asking me for my opinions on things like life and public transit and such. I don't do religoin, though, so let's stray from that topic. To seque, let's get some bloggers in here to read MY POTS!

Thank you for listenting, and tomorrow I've promised Seth I'm going to startt checking my posts for grammar and spelling, though not always grammar, but spelling.

Good wishses to you all, my friends and bloggers who will read this.

Shermanator

Success and Such

OK, so your grandchildren are whopping successes in Lafayette, you know what missy? I don't care one smidge about how your grandson Michael's law firm is doing when he's 29 and I'm older and fit to have such a carerr but I have an empty apartment full of spite and cat shit. You know what else? I don't own a cat, so where the hell did all that come from? Oh, from my neighbors? Well then don't come looking to me when that cat's covered in its own filth because I certainly didn't smear feces on its fur. I just kicked the damn thing.

OK, I apologize, I didn't kick anybody's cat I'm not cruel or unusual. What I did do is kindly ask you to stop telling me about Michael and Margeret (or Marguerite - I don't know what you said, I swear you said it both ways) After all, they're your grandchildren, and I don't want them in my life. I don't want them anywhere near it.

Also, thank you for letting me borrow your thermometer - I will return it after I've finished using it. You can expect it in an envelope on your doorstep along with something special.

-You Know

Today's the day

No, it's not my birthday, though tat does come around once a year. It's Sherman's Video Extravanaganza day! Go to this site: Youtube.come, and see everything the internet has to offer.

And you know what that is, friends? It's filth. There is a lot of garbage coming out of there with men dressed as women and friends killing friends. I watched every video on there, and I can tell you there's nothign worthwhile I couldnt' get by sticking my head in a toilet. Now, I know you say your internet is filled with knowledge, and technology and society and all that, but I give you a cat running around with a box on his head and say, now what's the use in that? Show me a cat ggiving a speech on ethics and I'll pay you a dollar for the priveledgE!

Now everytime I turn on the internet I go right to this you tube and find all sorts of new things, and even my friends online are not really friends - they don't recognize me by name or post comments to my blog or enter my music contest for my poidcast, and I'm left thinking where the real friends are? What's the udse of the internet if you can't make real friends?

Peace be with you, (internet) friends,

Shermans

Tyrants

Here's the thinkg, I will not accept her punishment. Just to talk to me, just to talk to me is what she wanted, and here I sit with a bloody face and another borken pair of glasses. And I ain't talking about pilsners, folks. These ar3e subscription, and I cannot make it to Lenscrafters tomorrow or Friday, but I'm damn sure going to take these down the hallway and sayy, "look here, you wretched woman," if you want these nowhere near your face, I'd pay up, buddy boy. I'm fuming mad that she does not take into account what kind of pain she can cause my face with those red as fire nails of hers. I'm pissed, folks, to quote the youth. I cannot stand by and let that woman scratch my face and break things like my reading glasses which I need to drive.

Forgive me for taking this out on you, gentle readers, but raging bitchity will not stand.

The Spring Int o SUmmer

There is a time each year, friends, when Spring turns to summer, and that time has passed this year, and it's damn hot in my little one bedroom apartmetn. The sheets stick to my legs, and what can I do but reach up to turn on the fan? Though that causes its own problems, as that hot air blows cold on my face and gives me the sdniffles something fierce. Now, there's something I don't understand, if you can tell me, why does air moving faster become cold? You'd think air, moving at the speed of fan, would be hot because of all that energy behind it. Pleaes, folks, share with me your wikipedia knowledge and help a feller out.

Also, why do I even bother with that fan when it's not even working except to give me a cold? As a little joke, "It's supposed to make me cold, not giveme one." Thanks, friedns, for listening to my little diatrive.

-Sherman.

Episode 8 of the Sherman Oak's Muysings podcast

Here it is folks. The Christmastime epiosoce, brought to you byy our sponosers, no one.

Contest

OK< we're having a contest still for getting me some music for the opening of the show. If you want to submit something, it must be in 3/4 time. Does anyone who listens play the flute? I will not accept a subpar flautist, because as God as my witness there is nothing worse. I knew a girl across the way who uysed to play her flite across the way. amd her tone was absolutely atrocious. I glared at her for weeks wjen I saw her in the hallway, but she never got the message. If I could, I'd take that flute and drop it from a height of about 4 stories, then melt it into a fine piece of jewelry.

Arm Workout for the Lower Abs

I've been working out a bit in this morning. I took a bag of flour and hefted it over my head, but the thing had some residue fluor on the outside of it, so it ended up getting my whole damn living room messy. I don't know about you, but the last time I gave this [place a good sweeping was spring cleaning, and I remember that because Ethal came over with some booze. We didn't drink it, just sat there looking at the bottle, because God fordib any of us have any fun with the stuff. I don't know what it takes to get that woman loose. If I had a dolloar for every time we've come close to kissing, I tell you wha.

But tomorrow is another day, and though that first bag of flour burts, I'll tell you what, there are more bags of flour at the grocery, and I've a mind to seek some of thoise out and purchase them - BY THE BUNDLE!A

Coraline

I want to see a movie this coming week, Coraline but every time I sit in on one of those three d mobvies I just starte and stare waiting for the screen to work and it looks all fuzzy. Some woman with a loud baby shouted at me when I asked her why my glasses weren't working I'm sorry but I'm just trying to watch the moview like you and your son there and I would think that the sooner you help me out, the sooner we can enjoy this movie in peace. It was Superman Retursn, and though it wasn't three d it was big.

Thank you friends, and enjoy your evening this Friday.

Sherman

Do Not Anger the Dog

There is a dog in my building that, truth be told, I would like to kill. Now, I don't priude myself on violence or anything, I just think that when a dog gives someone a certain look - a squinchy kind of look - you just gotta take steps. Now I don't know how many mornings I've awkne to the sound of that dog just barking and bardking and barking it's head off, but I tell you waht folks I'd like to bark it's head off myself.

Don't come crying to me, you dirty couple with your half-shaven faces and dark eyes when that dog comes back to you with a cut on its nose. That ain't no paper cut, missy, that's Sherman's justice.

Good peace to you all.

_Sheram