OK, so your grandchildren are whopping successes in Lafayette, you know what missy? I don't care one smidge about how your grandson Michael's law firm is doing when he's 29 and I'm older and fit to have such a carerr but I have an empty apartment full of spite and cat shit. You know what else? I don't own a cat, so where the hell did all that come from? Oh, from my neighbors? Well then don't come looking to me when that cat's covered in its own filth because I certainly didn't smear feces on its fur. I just kicked the damn thing.
OK, I apologize, I didn't kick anybody's cat I'm not cruel or unusual. What I did do is kindly ask you to stop telling me about Michael and Margeret (or Marguerite - I don't know what you said, I swear you said it both ways) After all, they're your grandchildren, and I don't want them in my life. I don't want them anywhere near it.
Also, thank you for letting me borrow your thermometer - I will return it after I've finished using it. You can expect it in an envelope on your doorstep along with something special.
-You Know
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